


Finding A Direct Proof

by orphan_account



Series: Total Bullshit [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M, Mikey Ships It, Ray Ships It, Tour Bus, Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5840224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pointless bickering kept him from remembering that in reality, Frank and Gerard definitely didn’t sleep together (which was the highest level of stupidity and obliviousness if you ask him) - but Ray and Mikey concluded that wasn’t a reason why not to argue which one of them tops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding A Direct Proof

“No, absolutely not. Our friendship is over,” Mikey growled sideways at Ray.

“I’ve got a point, though, don’t I?” Ray shot him a winning smile full of teeth. He had no idea how they ended up arguing about this – he was pretty sure this was not included in his life plan. But hey, he had heard it was kind of a popular topic around their fanbase, so this was of course a process of getting to know their fans, which was a nice thing to do.

“No, you don’t. It’s bullshit, how the fuck could Frank top? No fucking way.”

“Fucking a Way is what this is about. Frank tops, period,” Ray folded his arms. The pointless bickering kept him from remembering that in reality, Frank and Gerard definitely didn’t sleep together (which was the highest level of stupidity and obliviousness if you ask him). He sure as hell knew that, because that’s the sort of thing you can’t avoid knowing if you sleep every night in the same room with them. But Ray and Mikey concluded that wasn’t a reason why not to argue which one of them tops.

“Fuck’s sake, Ray, Gerard would never ever let Frank top.”

“How are you so sure?”

“If you didn’t notice, I’m his brother.”

“Yeah, brothers usually know this stuff about each other.”

Mikey rolled his eyes. “Still, Frank is like 3 feet tall, dude.”

“5’7!” came Frank’s threatening shout through the door of the bunk room.

“Ha ha,” Ray said, “and my grandma is lord Voldemort.”

Mikey stood up and put a hand over Ray’s mouth. “Don’t say that name,” he whispered seriously. Then he suddenly startled and recoiled. “Ew, what the fuck!”

Ray was looking at him with a self-satisfied grin.

“You fucking licked my hand!” Mikey yelled perplexedly. “Fraaank,” he whined like a little kid, “Ray licked my hand.”

“And I’m supposed to do what, help you shave his hair off? No thanks, I’m not helping someone who thinks I’d bottom.”

“See?” Ray mocked.

“He’s pissed off because I revealed the truth about him,” Mikey answered knowingly, adding emphasis to the last part of the sentence in attempt to make Ray see how important a matter this was – arguing about if his brother fucks Frank or if Frank fucks his brother, even though they definitely didn’t fuck at all (but that obviously was beside the point).

“Mikey, shut your mouth,” Frank shouted and opened the door to the living area the exact same second as Gerard kicked open the tour bus door and strode in with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in his hand, “or I’ll tell Ray what you told me.”

Gerard shot a puzzled look in Frank’s direction, “what did Mikey tell you?”

Frank grinned mischievously. “Oh, it’s just something, let’s say, incompatible with Ray being straight, if you like know what I mean.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Mikey said in defense.

Gerard went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Mikey dear, you know you don’t have to hide things like that from your big bro. I thought we could trust each other.” He gave him this understanding “it’ll be okay” look you use to comfort people whose cat just died, in case Mikey wasn’t irritated enough by his and Frank’s words.

Mikey threw his best death glare at him which lead only to Gerard ruffling Mikey’s hair and Mikey swatting his hand away.

Ray started laughing.

“And you,” Mikey pointed at him, “don’t laugh at me or I’ll dye your hair bright green since I don’t have the heart to shave them off.”

Ray stopped laughing.

Gerard decided that participating in this conversation is a terrible waste of time, so he turned his back on them and sassily started walking away into the kitchen (that was just a few steps away, but the point was, they couldn’t see him there), so they all could see what he thought about their petty bickering.

Ray and Mikey didn’t really give a fuck and Frank didn’t notice that Gerard was trying to make any sort of statement since Gerard’s ass has taken all of his attention. However, after a moment his brain woke up, so he realized that Gerard was going away and that meant he was going to be left with those two.

“Gee, come back! I’m afraid of them!” he panicked.

“You can manage to be there one more minute. I believe in you,” Gerard said from the kitchenette.

“Am I getting a coffee if I make it through?”

“Yeah, okay,” Gerard replied with a small chuckle.

“Fine then.”

“So, Frank,” Mikey started solemnly, “will you tell us the truth?”

Frank composedly ignored his question and turned to Ray. “So, Ray,” he begun with the same tone of voice Mikey used, “what do you say to Mikey’s offer?”

“I didn’t make any fucking offer, are you dumb or deaf?” Mikey tried defending himself. He didn’t like being the one in defense mode.

Frank flipped him off without turning to look at him and stared at Ray instead. Ray shifted uncomfortably, it was getting a bit creepy. “Come on, you know I’m straight.”

Frank sighed. “But this is Mikey Way we’re talking about, Raymond.”

“Don’t call me that, asshole,” Ray ran his hand through his hair, “but alright. Okay. Like, maybe.”

Frank’s eyebrows shot up and he clasped both his hands over his mouth dramatically and after a dramatic silence he yelled in a high-pitched voice, “Gerard, Raymond wants to shag your little bro!”

Gerard’s intention was originally to sprint back from the kitchenette, but that appeared a bit difficult with two mugs of coffee in his hands. So he performed some kind of ridiculous speed walking and after putting the mugs down onto the table, he decided to use Frank’s lap as a chair.

“You weigh a fucking ton or something,” Frank said fondly and wrapped his arms around Gerard’s torso.

“Oh Frank, stop with the compliments, you’re making me blush,” Gerard fluttered his eyelashes. “It’s better the other way round though. What do you say?”

Before Frank could reply, Gerard stood up, picked Frank up from his chair, sat on the chair himself and pulled Frank into his lap. Seriously, at the moment, Frank felt decently like a puppet. Woah.

“Better,” stated Gerard.

Mikey eyed them and suddenly jumped up, walked over to Ray and started poking him in the arm harshly. “I win, Toro! You can’t deny that. Team Gerard Tops wins!” He punched the air in victory.

Ray set his mouth into an exaggeratedly thin line (which made him look a little bit constipated) and shook his head. “Nope, you won’t convince me. Give up. I’m not leaving the Way Down team.”

“The fuck is Way Down team,” Frank giggled.

“The fuck?” Gerard questioned, not quite processing what’s going on.

“We should get t-shirts with the team names,” said Mikey to Ray.

“Such a sucker for t-shirts,” Ray sniggered.

“Wait,” Gerard spoke up as the sense of this situation still refused to reveal itself to him, “what are you two gibbering about?”

Frank shifted a bit, so he was pressed up against Gerard not leaving a gap between their bodies, and with eyes closed, he nuzzled his face into Gerard’s neck. “Your Frerard fangirl of a brother over there thinks you top and I bottom.”

“Bullshit,” Gerard laughed. "I thought you knew us better, Mikes."

 

* * *

 

 

They had two minutes left before going on stage when Gerard suddenly said: “I’m not a bottom. Just saying.”

“Sure,” Frank said, because he wasn’t really sure what course of action is supposed to follow when your friend tells you that he’d be the one fucking you in the ass if you ever fucked. Which was so not what Gerard said, but give Frank’s brain some rest, it can have a couple of weird moments too.

“Good,” replied Gerard and pecked Frank on the cheek, because he’s an evil creature of hell.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
